The Lady on Top

Dedicated in empowering women to unlock their full potential.

Empowering Women To Unlock Their Full Potential

The Lady on Top  - Dedicated in empowering women to unlock their full potential.

Avoid Moving Too Fast in a Relationship


Ladies, want to know one of the main reasons for bad breakups, heartache, regret and that feeling of deliberately wanting to punch your boyfriend in the face? The reason is because the relationship moved too fast.

What do you mean moving too fast in the relationship? Moving too fast in a relationship is when after a few dates you can’t stop gushing on how perfect the guy is, have already had sex and are a few steps away of saying “I love you.” Do you really think you’ve met the perfect guy after a few dates? You know that in the beginning everyone (including you) is on their best behavior. During the first few dates and after a few months, you do everything possible to impress them. You can’t really believe everything he’s telling you… because over time actions will speak louder than words.

Avoid putting men whom you’ve been on a few dates with on a pedestal. I don’t care if you think he’s God’s gift on earth. You do not, I repeat, you DO NOT give him the goods early on. “Mr. perfect” still needs to work for the goods like Joe Schmo. Goods can be cooking for him, doing his laundry, doing his errands, having sex, sleeping over his place, etc. Over time a man will show you by his actions that he is truly deserving of you and what you have to offer. Who is he for you to cater to his every needs early on when he has done nothing to show for it.

I cannot tell you how many women I’ve seen cooking for a man after the second date. Cooking for a man is not an obligation. It’s something you do out of love. And honey, you don’t love someone after a first few dates. Go tell that lie to your grandma. Not to me. With that being said, then why in the world would you slave over in the kitchen for man who you don’t love. Love doesn’t cost a thing, but in order to experience love you need to work for it.

If you do everything for a man early on, then what is left for you to do in the future? When you don’t stop to get to know someone early on in the relationship then your decisions are made on impulse.  Making impulsive decisions only leads to heartache, and those horrible feelings of hate and regret.

Moving too fast will make it easier for him not to commit in the future. When a man realizes you’re okay with bending over backwards for him with no commitment from his end then he will take advantage. Why should he go the extra mile when he already has you doing everything for him without him having to try so hard. I’ve known women who have moved in with their boyfriend only after five months of dating!?! Why would you do this? This just shows you’re not holding yourself up to a high standard. The man without doing so much work has you in his house acting like his wife. No commitment + no marriage + has you acting like his wife = a dream made in heaven.

Word of advice: avoid moving too fast in a relationship. What’s the rush? It’s better when you slowly take the time to get to know someone. There is a sort of adventure and delight that goes into slowly getting to know someone. Every day you get to know something new and experience new things together in phases. Taking it slow allows you to establish a close bond with the other person because the bond has been based on authenticity, trust, and the actions both of you have taken. Building  greatness isn’t built in a day. It’s done over time. A lasting relationship needs to have pillars. Pillars like love, truth, communication and respect. These pillars are formed each time you spend together and the situations you overcome in your relationship. And when you don’t build a strong foundation in your relationship, you can kiss it goodbye.

Ladies, there is no need to rush. Take it slow. Take it day-by-day. Experience the moment and don’t focus too much on the future. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Know how to hold yourself up to a high standard and have men treat you with respect. Remember, good things come to those who wait! ;)

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Category: Love
  • What todo says:

    Thank you for your advice. I am lost and i need input.
    I am a modern muslim woman. I just started dating online. Now after à little bit of conversation where we covered our ” must need, non negotiable ” things to be compatible as a LTR that lasted maybe one hour. He asked to send him a picture.
    I send him 2 headshots.
    Following this, he immediately wanted us to be exclusive and take down our profiles.

    After 2 days, I get back to him telling how I feel uncomfortable that this too fast and I don’t want him to feel like he lost is time if we end up not attracted to each other. He got cranky telling me that he was a guy who knew what he wanted, that he was serious about this and he wasn’t looking for a serious man then so be it.

    I answered him that to please be less cranky, that not only was I looking for a serious man, I was looking for MY man. You know, the one that I d be honored to call husband and father. So yes I liked that he wanted us to be exclusive, it was flattering BUT I was a person who liked to slow down, all the more when she liked what she heard. I concluded by saying that I ll give the exclusive thing ma try.

    Same night, he tells me already loved me ( how??), that when we met in a month, he would come pick me up at the airport, if I liked him physically, he would propose to me on the spot! He would put a ring on it, then he d make love to me. Then in a week or two, he d go to my hometown and ask my parents officially for my hand….

    The girl in me is living a dream, the woman that got burned is about to kick my romantic ass. So I compromised by telling him, let me get to know you, and by end of the month, ask me again to marry you. We ll see.

    It s sooooo. Confusing, this is exactly what I dream of, but I don’t know him and worst he doesn’t know me, what if I don’t live up to this dream image ?

    Aaa argh, please some input?

    April 1, 2014 at 5:58 am
  • What todo says:

    Dear Sabrina,

    Just putting this into word helped me clear my mind.
    No I am not bitter, but my instinct tells me that something isn’t right so I am going to go with my instinct .
    It s crazy how prayer time helps sooth the heart enough to clear the mind . By crazy I mean a blessing ;)

    Much love to you and your family and may God always light your way.

    April 1, 2014 at 11:47 am
    • theladyontop says:

      I’m glad you were able to clear your head and do what’s best for you! :)


      April 2, 2014 at 3:49 am

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