Ladies, want to know one of the main reasons for bad breakups, heartache, regret and that feeling of deliberately wanting to punch your boyfriend in the face? The reason is because the relationship moved too fast.
What do you mean moving too fast in the relationship? Moving too fast in a relationship is when after a few dates you can’t stop gushing on how perfect the guy is, have already had sex and are a few steps away of saying “I love you.” Do you really think you’ve met the perfect guy after a few dates? You know that in the beginning everyone (including you) is on their best behavior. During the first few dates and after a few months, you do everything possible to impress them. You can’t really believe everything he’s telling you… because over time actions will speak louder than words.
Avoid putting men whom you’ve been on a few dates with on a pedestal. I don’t care if you think he’s God’s gift on earth. You do not, I repeat, you DO NOT give him the goods early on. “Mr. perfect” still needs to work for the goods like Joe Schmo. Goods can be cooking for him, doing his laundry, doing his errands, having sex, sleeping over his place, etc. Over time a man will show you by his actions that he is truly deserving of you and what you have to offer. Who is he for you to cater to his every needs early on when he has done nothing to show for it.
I cannot tell you how many women I’ve seen cooking for a man after the second date. Cooking for a man is not an obligation. It’s something you do out of love. And honey, you don’t love someone after a first few dates. Go tell that lie to your grandma. Not to me. With that being said, then why in the world would you slave over in the kitchen for man who you don’t love. Love doesn’t cost a thing, but in order to experience love you need to work for it.
If you do everything for a man early on, then what is left for you to do in the future? When you don’t stop to get to know someone early on in the relationship then your decisions are made on impulse. Making impulsive decisions only leads to heartache, and those horrible feelings of hate and regret.
Moving too fast will make it easier for him not to commit in the future. When a man realizes you’re okay with bending over backwards for him with no commitment from his end then he will take advantage. Why should he go the extra mile when he already has you doing everything for him without him having to try so hard. I’ve known women who have moved in with their boyfriend only after five months of dating!?! Why would you do this? This just shows you’re not holding yourself up to a high standard. The man without doing so much work has you in his house acting like his wife. No commitment + no marriage + has you acting like his wife = a dream made in heaven.
Word of advice: avoid moving too fast in a relationship. What’s the rush? It’s better when you slowly take the time to get to know someone. There is a sort of adventure and delight that goes into slowly getting to know someone. Every day you get to know something new and experience new things together in phases. Taking it slow allows you to establish a close bond with the other person because the bond has been based on authenticity, trust, and the actions both of you have taken. Building greatness isn’t built in a day. It’s done over time. A lasting relationship needs to have pillars. Pillars like love, truth, communication and respect. These pillars are formed each time you spend together and the situations you overcome in your relationship. And when you don’t build a strong foundation in your relationship, you can kiss it goodbye.
Ladies, there is no need to rush. Take it slow. Take it day-by-day. Experience the moment and don’t focus too much on the future. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Know how to hold yourself up to a high standard and have men treat you with respect. Remember, good things come to those who wait!
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